


Paradisus-Paradoxum

by Empyrean_Queen_Cassiopeia



Category: Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch (Video Game)
Genre: Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Depression, Drinking to Cope, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Falling In Love, Flashbacks, Friendship, Heavy Angst, Loneliness, Mental Breakdown, Post-Game(s), Slow Burn, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-25 16:35:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20915189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Empyrean_Queen_Cassiopeia/pseuds/Empyrean_Queen_Cassiopeia
Summary: These worlds, every action, forever captured in the flow of time.The good, and the bad. It all encompasses the very orbit of the worlds, for worse or for better. Watch them, as to gain insight of this paradise of paradox.●~{A Ni no Kuni fanfiction, showing the darker side of the worlds. Some parts are connected, some are not. Title is based off of the song Paradisus-Paradoxum by MYTH&ROID.}~●





	1. Ever on and on I continue circling

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for not updating or writing anything on ao3 for a bit! I just had an extreme writer's block.

"And my first act shall be flowers!"

Flowers. She'd planned to fix her wrongdoings with flowers. 

How long had it been since she'd said that? Months? Years, even?

Nothing had changed. Because whenever Cassiopeia looked at a flower, all she could see is death. She could remember the faces her people, looks of betrayal, sadness, and hurt. Their screams of pure pain as their bodies and minds twisted and contorted into one of a ravenous beast. And the damned Council of Twelve, who found it sweet to manipulate a naive child.

But worst of all, the crushing loneliness. The fact that lingers in her mind, a nightmare that not even a repaired heart could mend:

'Everyone you cherish will eventually die. You will, inevitably, be alone.'

She thought she could get used to the loneliness, and be able to cope with it. She was wrong. Cassiopeia couldn't help but cling to her memories, letting them grow and become her very being, feeling the various stings of guilt, remorse, and hatred with every action she takes. At this point, she had stopped trying to change, as she knew she would relapse back into the same habits. 

Nothing changes. 

It's not like anybody would expect change from a tyrant queen like herself. Sacrificing her own people for her own needs, no, her wants, under the well-crafted lie of cleansing her people. So selfish as to wipe out an entire country of men, women, and children, then expect to receive pity. She thought like the Council, berating herself at any turn. 

A tyrant, a Council cur, a beast, no better than the ones that prowled her streets—

She must've not realized that she was screaming on all fours on the floor, or the painfully empty sensation in her chest. She looked again at the flower, now slightly crumpled by her fist. 

Hastily, she traced a rune in the air. Soon after, the flower burst into flames in her hands. She watched with a dead look in eyes, tears streaking her cheeks. It was a simple a Fireball spell, but it was enough to quell her agony.

For now.


	2. Whereabouts of The Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alicia tries to make Lucien understand. Lucien wonders if he's human.

Lucien looked around the endless void, his eyes seared by the blinding light. The only thing that could protect his sight was Alicia, the Great Sage. She was the only one who could block out the light, as it hugged at her silhouette. Yet still, she was an eyesore.

Alicia was the only other human— no, the ONLY human to accompany him in this void. Was he even worthy to be considered human? He never truly knew. Although, the overarching truth is that besides her, he was completely alone in the world of the dead.

He had always wondered why it happened to be just him and Alicia of all people. Was it a means of torture, a way for the upper beings to play around with his mind, as if it were a toy? Divine retribution, perhaps? 

Again, his mind wondered to the one question that lingered in his mind: was he even human? Will he ever again have the right to live amongst the people? And, did he ever in the first place?

He couldn't help but laugh at how foolish a question that is.

Lucien could never be able to assimilate himself with the other morally correct. There was too much blood on his hands, so many hearts that were broken because of him. So many kingdoms and villages alike, ravaged by his ruthless hand, leaving the population either dead or brokenhearted.

His first target was his very own home. All because he couldn't obey his orders, all because he spared that godforsaken sage's daughter, Alicia. The Bellicosian knights burned down his village, leaving no one alive. 

His body still showed signs of their abuse, bruises, cuts and burn marks adorned themselves all over. A sick, twisted reminder of what he had done. 

His human heart was long gone, burned and washed away along with the ashes of his village. The only thing that remained was a void, tearing away at his mind as every second passes by.

A voice shattered his train of thought. 

"Lucien."

He turned his head around slowly to see Alicia, staring at him with worry in her eyes.

"Alicia." Lucien responded with a weary tone.

"Are you well, Lucien? You look worried," Alicia asked. He sighed.

"Yes, I was just... pondering something." He answered. 

Alicia nodded in understanding. "I was thinking about something too."

"Hmm? And what is that, exactly?"

"What you gave to me, years ago," Alicia said, nostalgia lacing her voice. "The necklace. You said it would protect me."

"I was wrong," Lucien said, with desperation. He could feel a sense of hopelessness balling in his chest, the same feeling he got everytime he spoke to the Great Sage. It felt as if he was still in the attack on Rubicon, or still watching his village burning in flames. "I was wrong, and now here we are."

Alicia smiled sadly. "No, Lucien, you weren't wrong. You saved me. You saved this world."

Lucien simply stared in disbelief. There's no way he saved this world. He did the exact opposite of saving the world.

"No... Alicia, you're lying... I know you're lying."

"I am not, Lucien. Can't you see? You've-"

"NO! Can't YOU see?!" Lucien screamed. "I destroyed this world, killed it's people, leaving nothing but despair! I couldn't save anyone. My hands, they are stained with innocent blood." His voice shook, as his eyes were pricked with shameful tears. 

Alicia looked forlornly at him. "Please, Lucien, you have to listen to me! If not for you, Oliver wouldn't find his way. He would've stayed in his world, buried in despair." She paused for a moment.

"And, if you weren't there to save me all those years ago, I would be-"

"Stop! I've had enough of your ramblings, witch." Lucien spat, anguish in his voice. "I can't listen to much more of your lies."

Lucien traced a rune only usable in the world of the dead, one that made him able to temporarily fade out of existence.

"Farewell for now, Alicia." is what he last said before he vanished, putting emphasis on Alicia's name, as if it were a curse.

Alicia could only look in despair, frowning as she couldn't take her eyes off of where Lucien was once standing. She sighed.

"Oh, Lucien, when will you understand..?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! the next chapter of this story will probably be about Marcassin. Or probably Cassiopeia aGaIn, because I had another idea for a chapter about her. spoiler alert: pretty much every character in this is an emotional mess, except for like drippy.


End file.
